Can you please tell me how i can improve how i write?

They took me in because I was “uncontrolled”.


An adolescent boy looked bored as he faced the front of the classroom on his desk.


This boy had brown hair and skin that was about the same color as the norm. He wore his hair short with a tad bit of spikes. He also seemed healthy enough to jog a whole mile.


“…the element of fire is hard to control for any mage. That includes even the Masters…” said a male voice at the front of the classroom.


Maybe I should be thankful; an orphan doesn’t usually get an opportunity to study after novice training.


The bored boy looked out of the classroom window. He could easily see people walking on busy, sunny streets out of a one-story magic school. They were bustling about their business; women were carrying baskets, children were playing, men were working… and the occasional magician passed in staid silence.


“Stan,” said the teacher, speaking directly toward the bored boy, “Just what is so interesting out there?”


The class let out a giggle.


“Um,” said Stan, and after a pause, “Nothing.”


“Fine,” said the teacher. And then he returned to his droning lecture.


The boy looked to his left to see a male student, but this student was engaged in the lecture. He wore black, medium length hair, and had a skin color that was lighter than most. He did not return Stan look.


How stupid can Stan get? Thought the dark-haired boy, trying to look undisturbed. In fact, he was immensely disturbed.


How dull can Sane get? Thought Stan, looking at his classmate, He has no humor in him.


He looked to his right, and saw a girl playfully laughing at him.


She had long, brown hair, and had normal skin color.


Well, thought Stan, at least Ria has humor.


But he could not hide his shame.





“You are dismissed,” said the same teacher.


As Stan was about to burst out the door, the male teacher stopped him, “Stan, let me talk to you for a moment,”


The boy stopped, turned, and slowly walked back.


“Sit here,” the teacher invited.


“Yes, Teacher Harold?” said Stan, taking a seat.


Harold was a young teacher, about in his twenties. He owned black hair that he wore loosely. He was also in good shape. He had absolutely no hint of having a beard or mustache any time in his life, and his skin was a bit lighter than everyone else’s.


Harold took a deep breath, stretched, and then started talking, “This isn’t about your behavior; it’s about you and your abilities.”


Stan gave him a questioning look.


“Well, you have a talent in using Darkness; it seems very natural for you.”


The afternoon sun beamed in the classroom. It made the wooden building seem orange and furnace-like in the silence that followed. A slit of sweat went down Stan’s throat.


Darkness, Stan thought, the most unstable and most dangerous element used in magic?


“So what does this mean then, Teacher Harold?” asked the spiky-haired boy.


“I’m worried.”


“Of what?”


Harold looked toward the window, “You and your relationship with Darkness,”


Stan paused. It opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it. In the end, his only response was a nod.


Another silence followed.


“Um,” said Harold, breaking the silence, “I want you to stay careful.”


The student nodded.


“You can go now,” said the teacher.


And so Stan left.Can you please tell me how i can improve how i write?
I agree with Lindsey, there are a lot of sentences that are fragments. A lot of your descriptive sentences can be joined into a single sentence. For example:





In his mid-twenties, Harold was one of the younger teachers in the school. Harold kept his body in good shape and and always appeared to be well groomed. There was never any sign of facial hair and his dark black hair was always as shiny as his aquarium's water.





That's not perfect by any means, but I just want you to see what I mean about joining more of your descriptive sentences together.





Also, if you want to improve your writing overall, the best way to do that is to read. If you don't know what to read, go to TIME's top 100 books of all time and take your pick.Can you please tell me how i can improve how i write?
The first few sentences are fragments which are sentences that are not complete.


Too Much Dialogue.


But Good job though,very descriptive!