At what point do you break up over wanting a comittment?

Hi everyone. I have been dating this man for almost 4 years. We broke up about 5 months ago which was his choice. We have begun dating again over the past month and a half and I believe him when he says he is not going out with anyone else. He did date someone immediately after we broke up; in fact, I have proof that he was going out with her prior to us breaking up. He says they are no longer together and that she is with someone else. My problem is comittment. I don't expect a ring on my finger, but I have told him that in order to continue the relationship, I need some sort of comittment from him that I am the only one he is with or wants to be with. He says he can't give me that comittment right now because he is ';trying to find himself';. He swears he doesn't want to date anyone else, but still doesn't want to tell me that I am ';the one';. After 4 years, wouldn't a person already know if you are ';the one';? I would appreciate suggestions --- should I break up with him until he is ready for a comittment? Should I accept it and just continue dating him and hope that he isn't going out with anyone else? Should I continue dating him and make him feel like I am not committed to only him? Any suggestions would be really nice at this time. I truly love this man and did want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know he loves me, but is this a time to play hard to get? How do you get a man who you know cares about you to realize he is going to lose you and you know he will regret it if or when it happens? We have already tried talking about it and he is just getting more confused about what he wants.At what point do you break up over wanting a comittment?
Your quest for relief is priority.


I'll share and you decide to use the advice or not.


I was with someone for a year. I was with another person for 4 years. Both at separate times.


And both were not wanting to commit.


I walked away from both relationships.


Now I am happily married to a wonderful partner.


I am with someone that loves me and is committed.


So do I assume you WANT someone that loves you as much as you love them.


So decide if you want to move on and find that wonderful person that will love you for you and wants to share your life.


Respect his choice not to commit, and move on.


Life is suppose to be wonderful for all of us.