When a man is like this, what does it mean?

I have a bit of a problem, and I wanted some mature answers. That's why I'm posting it in the marriage/divorce section.


The man I've been dating for about a month and a half is a really decent, honest, and hard working man. He doesn't play games. He's not seeing other people. It's just that he told me, from the beginning that he wanted to just see where things go. If they work out, then great. If they don't, then they don't. I'm on board with that. Sort of. I've been divorced for 4 years and have dated 2 men since then. This man being the 3rd. With the other guys, I knew right off the bat if they were into me or not. With this guy, I just can't tell. I don't want to start talking a bunch of relationship crap because I don't want to scare him off. I have asked him if he would tell me if he really wasn't interested. He said that he of course would. I am a single mom, and I don't get alot of ';going out'; time. She is with me all of the time, unless I can get my parents to babysit.She's 5. I don't know what the protocol is for dating anymore. I think I've been out of the loop for too long. He calls when he says he'll call, and he always calls me. I've only called him when he's asked me to. We've seen each other a couple times a week for about 6 weeks. When we've gone out, the conversation has been good. Other times, when he comes over to my house, we watch a movie or TV. The conversations aren't bad. They're just not there. Also, when it comes to hand holding and kissing, I have always made the first move. I think what I am going to do is stop. If he wants, he can make the move. I just feel soooo confused by this. It's weird. Sometimes I feel like he really really likes me. We have fun. Then other times, I feel like he finds me boring. Anyway, if any adult could give me some advice, I would certainly appreciate it. Maybe some guidelines on how I should act. Should I be more pursuant, or should I just let him pursue? I've let him do most of it so far. Maybe I'm not acting interested enough? AAAGGGHH!! Frustration!! When a man is like this, what does it mean?
I have always thought that you don't worry about having to be or act a certain way to make sure someone likes you because you like them. So, the guideline on how to act is simple: NO ACTING! Being you is the best you can do. Don't be afraid or shy to ask anything you want about anything! Ask! :-) If you're afraid to ask now because you're afraid of the answer or scaring him off, well, wouldn't you want to know NOW rather than 6 months from now? If he can't be open about what he wants, then chances are he really doesn't know what he wants. Chances are 6 months from now he'll still be in the ';lets just see where it goes'; mode. My best advice is to find a guy you can be open with about your questions and relationship issues and who'll show some initiative that he likes you too. When a man is like this, what does it mean?
I would tell him how you feel. Maybe he just doesnt want to get hurt and hes not sure how you feel so try talking to him and see what he thinks.
A mere six weeks is hardly enough time to make the determination that this man is this flawless, and with your history of relationships you should know this, after all it's not as if your 15 and this is your first boyfriend, while I don't want to imply that he is a loser, as he most likely isn't, nor can he be this wonderful, so my suggestion is to slow down. Most people who worry about how they appear to other people only worry because they don't know this person yet, this is why it is so important that you get to know each other prior to getting your feelings so wrapped up in him. And you have a young child, this is more critical, as it's not just about you, you have someone else who has no voice in the situation, so slow down.
He sounds like a decent man. I think you just need to be patient, take things a day at a time and like he has said, ';See where it goes.'; I know after being divorced for 4 years, you are probably interested in a more permanent relationship. But just be patient. Focus on your daughter. She should be your priority anyway.


He is probably just being cautious because you are divorced, and have a child. You didn't say anything about his past. Is he divorced, or does he have children? It sounds to me like he is just being really cautious and wanting to take his time. From your description, he sounds like a nice man and I would just be patient with him and yourself.


My husband and I dated for 5 years before he proposed. I found out that he was just waiting for things with my teenage sons to settle and for them to finish high school. Actually, a month and a half is not all that long to be dating someone. I wouldn't push things. Good luck to you.



He's not in a rush for a ';relationship'; and maybe you shouldn't be either. If you enjoy his company and want to keep seeing him than do it. On your part, keep it on a frienship level and leave it up to him to bring the romance into the relationship.
Quit thinking about what you should do and just let things happen naturally.Not all men are good at showing their emotions.I am sure you'll know if he's not into you sooner or later.Just don't get attached if he hasn't showed you what he wants.
I see how that could be really frustrating...about him not making a move on you at your house and you always having to make the first move...maybe he is just considering the fact that your daughter is there, or if she is asleep, maybe waking up and walking in on the two of you...a child would be affected by that, at least in some way...





and, maybe by taking the relationship slow, he is just trying to get a feel for ';family life';...i really wouldn't have much advice on that one..my husband wanted to take it too fast and moved in after 2 weeks...he is very controlling...maybe your man wanting to take it slow is a good sign, in more ways than one...





i do see where a lot of ';uncertainties'; and confusion would be popping up though...good luck and i hope you get some good advice on here
just be yourself don't change anything, sometimes both sides wait for the other to make the first move, just keep showing attention and affection both alone and in public, let him know you are in love with him, also try taking your baby along with you two, be like a family. good luck