Is playing hard to get what girls should do to get real love?

First of all, I'm not like an easy girl. But I think my whole life I've always given so much without asking for anything in return. Some of my friends and my mom say I'm too easy and I should wait and take it slow and give the guy I like sometime, let him chase me and stuffs...I try to think that way and guess they are right, but I just can't do that. If I like a guy, it's usually attraction from the first date and it leads to sex pretty fast. In my perception, it's just a normal thing.





But as I grow older now, I start realizing men just chase, give gifts, act romantic and nice when they think the girl is not interested...yet. It makes me really sad because I have no idea how I should control that. My boyfriend I've been dating for a month now he starts acting cold to me, no more loving messages as before. Should I change the way I've always been?? But it's too late for the one I'm with anyways??





Please reply just after reading and understanding what I mean, and thanks a lot. I'm anxiously waiting to get some responses :)Is playing hard to get what girls should do to get real love?
I had the same problem when I was in high school. I tried to be what I thought what the girl wanted me to be. I tried to be more aggressive, seeing other boys who were more popular with the girls, not me. Because of men like Alan Alda, and Phil Donahue, I tried to be more sensitive then me. I tried to be obnoxious like some jocks. It always seemed I offered what a previous girl wanted.





I wrote a poem then, called Just me.





I am not Alan A.


I am not Phil D.


I am not an 80's man.


I am just plain me.





I don't float like a butterfly.


I don't sting like a bea.


I am not an 80's man.


I am just palin me.





I can be sensitive


I can be sweet.


But I am rough around the edges.


And I am not to neat.


I am not an 80's man.


I am just plain me.





I made mistakes that brought me shame.


But I did it my way, and I took the blame.


I am not an 80's man.


I am just plain me.





I am not an 80's man.


I am just me.





By Nevets Sitnast





Be who you are as long as you are a caring, responsible, mature respectful person.





As for being too easy. Is in the eye of the beholder. My mom would say if you did anything but kiss, you were easy. And it goes as far as swingers who believe in open marriage, where you find a special someone and share each other with who ever you want.





First decide what are you looking for. I am guessing it is close to wanting someone special, but are afraid to losing the lust we all feel in the first few months.





Simple, you have top remind yourself to keep doing things for him to make him feel special, and if he cares about you it should more then keep his interest in doing little romantic things to make you feel special.





As for the guys you pick. That is something else. If you only pick the pretty boys who are confident, but arrogant, and selfish then that is your fault. I have dated a girl for 6mo. and one for a year that I had sex with on the first, and I have waited 6mo before having sex with a girl that lasted only a few months after. Its not when you have sex, but if you want to have sex just for sex or if you want to have sex with someone you really care about. If it is the latter, then waiting until you get to know him would usually take some time. Finding someone is all about finding someone who can accept you craziness, and you accepting his craziness. And having something the other person needs.





My parents were married for 52yrs. My dad said, He knew mom was the one because he knew in rough times she would back him up. My mom said, she knew dad was the one because she knew in rough times he would make her laugh. Of course my dad was real, with his feelings. He always kissed my mom everyday. And I remember him always saying that's my girl.





So are you making the guy feel special? if not maybe that is why he is not putting the effort in making you feel special. If you do not put the effort and he does the relationship dies. If you put the effort and he does not the relationship dies. It takes the both of you.





There will be times you will be unable to give, and he has to do it for a while. Sometimes he will be unable to give, and you will not for a while. Sometimes you will have to give a little more, and sometimes he will. But if no one does again it will die.





Hope this helps.Is playing hard to get what girls should do to get real love?
and by the way, I forgot the mention, your poem is fantastic! :)

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