Looking for some help- the man played me for 2 1/2 years?

I am 35- he is 55- we were best friends then had a relationship. He had a big crush on me at first- as in ';you made me feel again';- but I was fresh out of a relationship and was very slow to react- he hung in there and I did eventually come around and fell in love- then he suddenly bolted- he accepted a date with someone else- THEN broke up with me- instead of breaking up first- then accepting a date. Now I am being played- as in he's making me seem like I am wrong (I did call him a mean name- so I do have guilt) But I just put it all together- he wasn't honest - ugh- he once cheated on his wife- many many years ago-once a cheater always a cheater? How do I move on? You'd think at 35 I'd know but it just stinks when it happens again- I am not perfect but now neither is he- I am begging him for friendship- need words of encouragement- cause I know better- we will never go back to what we had- oh - what does it get harder?Looking for some help- the man played me for 2 1/2 years?
In my opinion, the less said the better. It feels good to ';speak your mind';, but often times, it comes back to haunt you later on. I know you're hurting, but pick up the pieces, and move on. There's a good guy out there, that will be upfront and honest with you. At 35, you have your whole life to look forward to....get busy LIVING it! Good Luck!!Looking for some help- the man played me for 2 1/2 years?
First off, he is 55, there isn't anything you can call him that he hasn't been called before. Additionally, when you're upset you're allowed to say things you wouldn't typically say and to apologize for them when things calm down. You've been in enough relationships to grasp that. So you certainly shouldn't feel guilty for whatever you called him unless it was done continually throughout your relationship.





Further more, the man is a known cheater and hasn't even pretended to care about you, your feelings, or your peace of mind. I understand you want someone to support you and make sense of things. I've been there myself. Yet somewhere beneath all your pain, and all your longing there is the rational you that is fuming pissed. There is the common sense in you begging you to realise you deserve better treatment and that just because this jerk didn't give it to you doesn't mean the rest of your life is hopeless.





You seem to be smart girl, stop begging him for anything. It makes you seem desperate and unattractive. Stop getting involved with adult boys with emotional issues. Go out with friends, make new ones if you don't have any. Find a hobby or 10 to keep yourself busy. The pain fades, and you'll find someone who deserves you.





As far as telling him off. If it'll make you feel better, then go for it. If its just to lash out, and you'll run back begging him to forgive you for what you said, then don't bother.





If you truly want to hurt him, then simply be happy that he's gone. Even if you're miserable, just don't let him see it. Let him see that you're happy and fine without him. That'll hurt a lot worse than any words you could ever say.
Why continue the association? Doesn't it just mean more pain on your part?


And guilt? Forget it. You've done nothing wrong; he deserved whatever it was you called him.


All he was interested in was the chase; the game; once you were gotten, yawn, it was time for him to move on.


And forget about begging him for anything; he doesn't care about your feelings. My advice is that you move on; leave him behind; find a man who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Free yourself from this looser now.
Why would you even consider being friends with someone that treated you that way.You should have more respect for yourself.You are still young forget about him and move on.Put him completely in your past unless you enjoy being hurt.Don't call him and say anything you need to be the bigger person and walk away I am sure he will cheat and treat his new girlfriend the same way.
Leave it alone, and don't see him again. Girl, what were you thinking - he could be your dad, that's just icky....


He didn't ';play'; you - you were a very willing participant, and you made some big mistakes.
you learned a lesson here... now it's time to move on... his friendship will never be the same...
OK, he's hurt you very badly.





I suggest you withdraw from him for a period of time to


try to figure out what you want. Make a decision and


then STICK WITH IT.





Yes, he might come crawling back, but he gives up


any moral authority when he cheats.





If after a week, you can't forgive him, then move on.


If you're already trying to find ways of forgiving him,


then you basically already have forgiven him and


you need to come up with some way of handling


his philandering while still loving him.
yes, if you are going to still be friends then he should be able to handle your frustration and if not then he wasn't going to be a good friend for you anyway. give it some time, then see how you feel about him after the initial hurt is gone you should see things clearer


hang in there, there will be someone else good luck
This is difficult at any age. I suppose you need to figure out what you really want. Would the benefits of being friends with him out-weigh the pain you will feel every time you get together with him? And, realistically, will he hang around to just be friends or will he want to be ';friends with benefits?';





And, if you are ';begging'; him to be friends with you, aren't you giving away too much of your power? You must have some good qualities, or he would not have been around you for these years. I realize your self-esteem has taken a hit, but don't compromise yourself with a guy that will keep ';playing'; you if you let him. Have you murdered anyone? Do you deserve a life sentence of feeling less than?





Good luck. May love find you and give you all the good things you deserve as a good human being.
Don't even bother with him, he isn't worth the trouble!
he's a jerk, don't call him at all. In fact, don't waste anymore of your time thinking about him.





You are worth more than that.
The relationship you have just gone through is called one of total infatuation. Look this man is a player, and you have even said this yourself. Let him go, life is too short to put up with this kind of daily drama that goes on in your life. This man does not love you, the only thing he loves about you is the time he had sex with you. That is all. You do not need this mans friendship or anything, the faster you can get away from this man the better off you will be. Walk away and do not even turn your head to look back, really he is not worth the time it takes for you to turn your head and look back. This man is a loser. You have seen this, I see this, now move on.
move on dear !!!
Break up with him and tell him exactly why you are doing it..


He still has no character or integrity and never will have any.


You don't want him...


There are men of character and integrity that would love to


have you.....Start looking for one...
Um, Dude's old enough to be your father. You wasted 2 1/2 years of your 30s on him? Wow!
always speak your mind, that way there will not be any misunderstandings at all.
guy cheat more than once to his own wife or gf cannot be trust anymore....don't waste time on him anymore
sounds like he got the goods and hot the road not cool at all
Cut off all times with him and find a better man! He is not work it and the age difference is way to much.
don't make the frist call just weight if your anything to him he will make the call when he dose make it hard for him to get back to you play hard to get at 35 you should be able to get date's now if you look like a wallflower get a makeover hay that just my two cent's worth don't take my word for it from a guy who shave goats and paint's flag poles for fun
a leopard never changes it's spots , and he has knowingly entered out of this relationship and into a new one , and.. that is not right , karma will come to visit him (and I dont mean the woman) if I were you I would try and resist calling him, and do not offer him any acceptance for what he has done , hell you are 35 , you arent out of the game yet , and remember that , you are now in the stage where you think that it is because of you he has done what he has done , dont stress it isnt. he is a player , go find someone else , let him play , because later on the only thing he will be playing with is his self. you on the other hand - still are in the game , jump back in to it , and dont look back!
Do you really want him as a friend? What kind of friend treats another friend that way, let alone a girlfriend? He's a jerk and he doesn't deserve your friendship. Move on, you're young and there are plenty of deserving men out there. Just think of this as a learning experience!
Yes,I think you should talk to him openly and tell him everything that you feel.Not crying,not using hard words,be a lady and turn your back on him.Stay friends for what? Why would be friend with a person who did you so wrong? Why are you afraid of speaking your mind freely?you already lost him,which may mean a great win for you,on the long run....If I were you,I would just let him go for good,I wouldn`t stay friend and I would try to keep my mind and my time busy with work,family and friends.It may be hard but I think it would be harder to continue this compromise,which I don`t think is healthy for your mind.So hang in there and move on,it`s all you have to do! But MOVE ON,don`t come back. When you`re ill,you try to cut the pain,not prolonge it! So be strong and good luck
It's obvious he didn't appreciate you and that he was going through a late mid-life crisis. You don't need to beg for anything. Any man would be lucky to have you and would accept what you see as imperfections in yourself. I am sending you hugs and hope they get you through the day.
Why do you want to be friends with him if you will never go back to what you had? What's the point? He lied to you, get over it, move on.
I like the way you think what are you doing tonite
He is probably digging all this attention...so I suggest you just don't worry about him for awhile...find yourself...and what you want! It was a bad choice to jump into a relationship right after a bad one just ended...but you learn from your mistakes....you don't need a man to compleat yourself....go out...have fun...find a respectable man!
I know you must be disappointed but he's not who you thought he was - he's hurt you enough already - tell him off and be done with him!! You don't have to be nasty - be mature about it, but he's gotta go. Why would you want to remain friends with him??
well i don't think you got ';played'; from the sound of your question he only accepted a date not went out on one before ending it with you. your question was how do i move on? correct? well first off you can't be friends with him, not right away. if you were together for 2.5 years then you should wait at least a year before you attempt some kind of friendship. the best thing for you to do is go out. date, keep busy, find a girlfriend and go out. join a group, pick up some random hobby. but it's not gona help you to contact him. it's just going to reopen the cut.