Help with my father and I...? :( -this is a bit longish-?

I used to be my dad's little girl, we were always really close. I was close to my mom, too, but I was always closer to my father.


Over the past two years, I've become distant from my father. =/


I... Don't know why, but it makes me really sad.


I guess it's normal, since I'm 14...


But, I feel so aweful that I don't spend time with him much, don't talk to him alot, etc.


I know he's busy. He's a business man, and is often not home, etc...


But we've been between living in Japan and America for a long time now, and I... I don't know, I feel like it's made us distant.


I see that he works hard to keep our family afloat, and making sure we have a good life, enough money, etc... And I know he loves me...


But I don't know.


It's like I've forgotten how to show him gratitude, respect, and honor.


And moving from my birthplace to America, then back to Japan, then to America, then Japan again this summer (for good) has been really hard on me. I've had to make new friends after new friends after new friends.


I try to adjust, and respect my father's job (which has us moving around so much)... But it's so hard to do. It's almost as if he doesn't realize that I keep losing friends, making new ones, I keep living in Asia, then living in America. And it's so hard for me to take anymore.


My baby sister is obviously not affected, since she's only very small- and she will be spending her whole life in Japan, since we're moving there permanently now. I think she's lucky, and I'm greatful for that.


But I almost feel resentment toward my father for moving us around so much throughout my childhood up until now.


I get mad at him for no reason sometimes, I even told him I hated him this morning, because I've been so... Uprooted, I guess- since we're not moving to our hometown in Japan, but to Kyoto.





And... I know he and my mother raised me with better manners than the ones I'm showing. My father's big on repspecting parents (and all elders), and following what he says, getting a good education, knowing that he knows best, providing for the family, etc (I guess because these things are usually bigger in Japan than America) but... Ugh, I just don't know why I feel so... hateful toward him.


I want to talk to him, but idk how. %26gt;_%26lt; I'm afraid to after this morning. At dinner tonight we didn't speak a word to each other. He didn't do any of the normal things he does, (Ex: Telling me to study, feed the animals, help take care of my sister, do my chores, etc.) It's like he doesn't even... Love me anymore, or something. Like there's a wall between us. I even almost got jealous that he was completely silent toward me, but laughed and played with my baby sister. :'( I know this sounds overly dramatic, but this stuff really hurts.





Help?Help with my father and I...? :( -this is a bit longish-?
My Dear child, there's alot of emotion going on here and part of what your feeling is normal. Your growing into a youg lady with horomones bouncing off the wall. You still want your fathers love and appoval but in the same sense you are resenting him for all the difficult moves the family has had to make due to his job. As a Dad I'm sure he has become aware that his little girl is growing up and he's probaly giving you some space thinking as men sometimes do that when little girls grow up they don't need their Daddy's love and affection as much. As your body is changing he' probaly thinks that at this stage of your life that its best your mother becomes more of the role model and disisplnary. you seen to have your head on straight and are respectful to your elders. I think that you should tell him how you feel, even maybe reach out and let him know how much you miss him and are proud of all that he does to keep his family financlly stable. Tell him you love him and wish that you both spent more time together as father and daughter, that you miss your one on one quallity time you use to have with him.





As you stated your Dad is a busy man and it sounds like he has alot on his plate, he may not be aware of the situation. Talk to him Dear, parents are not mind readers, we try to do the best by our children and sometimes we get blind sided by the every days stress of life and trying to make it all work. Better yet show him this email that you wrote, sometimes its easier to write the words than to say them. I hope you can work this out for the both of you, I'm sure he needs to feel your love just as much as you need to feel his.....even a little hug on your part may be the place to start and just tell him how much you love him and how you appreciate all he has done to keep the family together....Help with my father and I...? :( -this is a bit longish-?
Not trying to make you cry, but he is trying to do what's best for you and your whole family. You probably really hurt him by saying you hated him. So you should confront him when you feel comfortable, say your sorry, and try to talk and relate with him and see what happens. I doubt you will, but if u need help AFTER the fact that it doesn't work you can e-mail me.
Awww...you've had a rough time moving back and forth. Asia and the United States are very different countries and cultures so you have a right to be upset. Just talk with your dad and tell him how upset you are and why. Its obvious that you don't hate him. Anyway, good luck